Semi-boring Legal stuff

1. This site contains parody and humor. All stories are made up (mostly) and any resemblance to actual people, places and events is purely intentional.
2. This site contains adult humor and images. If the site of a woman's breast or the word shit offends you please go away as you are most likely a moron who needs to grow up and realize that not everybody thinks like you think or believes in what you believe in.. There are millions of sites on the world wide web so if you have a problem with this one then you really need to learn how to use that search engine thingy.
3. Frequent visitation to this site may cause the following: Illumination, lumbago, rickets, the questioning of media, excessive flatulence, osteo-arthritis, introspection, lockjaw, halitosis, solipsism, impetigo, consternation, grand mal seizures, herpes (simplex-1) excessive mucus production, hyperthyroidism, sarcasm toxicity, prestidigitation, acute interest in spelunking, bladder control loss, an urge to sing "The Night Chicago Died" in a topless bar, arrogant self-assurance, pedagogy, agoraphobia, ringing of the ears, more excessive gas, a nearly uncontrollable urge to eat crayons, extrapolation, infidelity, even more gas (really smelly gas at that) the urge to join the French Foreign Legion, itching, projectile vomiting and mild heartburn.
   We are not responsible for any of the above (Except maybe the urge to eat Crayons).
4. We have some really good lawyers, most of whom we "have something on!" 'Nuff said.
5. Yes, I am an idiot, so are you...that's why stereotypes exist.
6. This number follows the number 5.
7. If you have any complaints about this site please feel free to share them with your "inner child" because my "outer adult" is not listening.
8. If you would like to pass on a constructive comment please feel free to email us at inquiries@theflatspin.com
9. If you have any questions please ask someone you trust.
10. If you have any answers...well, you're doing better than most of us.
11. Anything you send to us becomes ours because we are greedy little shits and we aren't gonna' return one damned thing to anyone...please send kitchen appliances and money.
12. If you submit an article to us we can edit, change alter, trasmorph, rend, obliterate or ignore it as we see fit. And we aren't sending it back to you either (see #11).
13.  << Unlucky number
14. Pretend that all the other legal disclaimers that you see on other sites (all models over eighteen years of age, void in Nevada and Utah, family members not eligible, etc.) are actually written here.
15. We aren't responsible for anything having to do with anything so don't sue us. Besides, all you'd get is our old desktop computer, some Star Trek blueprints and a Pet Cemetery cat!
16. By visiting this site you agree to all of the above (not to mention Below, to the left and to the right) You also give up any rights to go after us for anything, the right to own property and, of course, the right to attack third-world countries with marginal defense forces.