FAQ's AND NOT SO FAQ's

WHO WRITES THIS STUFF?
We do. or more accurately, I do. I and my crack team of professional writer/smart-asses.

ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME MAD OR OFFEND ME?
Yes, we certainly are. In fact, We at TheFlatspin believe that if we haven't pissed someone off today that we're not doing our job.

WHERE ARE YOU LOCATED?
Like we'd tell you.

NO, SERIOUSLY. WHERE ARE YOU LOCATED?
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Washington, DC

DOES YOUR SPELL-CHECK WORK?
No, our spell-check does not wrok.

CAN I WRITE SOMETHING FOR YOU?
Yes, we are partial to checks and money orders.

I MEAN CAN I SUBMIT AN ARTICLE OR STORY?
Yes you can. Just click on the submissions link on the homepage for more details.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD SEX WITH A GOAT?
Yes, once, but I really needed the money! Just kidding...I didn't need the money.

DOES YOUR SITE USE SPYWARE OR TRACKING COOKIES?
No absolutly not. In fact, I think that people who employ spyware on their sites should be forced to have sex with a rabid badger followed by a 24-hour wire brush massage and salt water and vineger bath. Spammers too!

WHATS UP WITH THE STEELERS?
I don't know, they're really starting to piss me off.

ARE ANY OF YOUR NEWS STORIES REAL?
As real as the Fox New Network's news stories.

DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING AGAINST OUR ELECTED PRESIDENT?
No, not at all. In fact I am a big admirer of Al Gore. However, That little fucker who staged the election coup...well, he's so much fun to abuse. Actually, I don't like any President of any party...unless they get hot cheerleader chicks to come and "visit" me.

DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT ROASTING IN HELL FOR ANY OF THIS?
Hell no, I've got just enough body-fat that I'll roast up just fine.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT HOMELAND SECURITY ISN'T SPYING ON YOU AND KEEPING TRACK OF THIS STUFF?
I'm sure they are..in fact HEY TOM RIDGE, BLOW ME!!!!!!!
Any more questions?