WASHINGTON - President Bush today revealed new regulations to be enforced by the Department of the Interior that are designed to prevent over-logging by the timber industry. The President revealed the new laws during a speech before the conservative organization called Republicans Who Hate Trees Organization at their monthly D.C. luncheon. The controversial new program calls for clear cutting every tree greater than one-inch in diameter on American soil , her territories such as Guam and the U.S. Virgin islands and approximately 20% of Canada where it meets the U.S. border. Environmental groups such as the Sierra Club are outraged at the President's proposal calling it the most shocking crime against nature that it has ever been proposed. Other organizations however, such as the Center For Clear-Cutting Every Tree On The Planet, disagree with the Sierra club. They say that the new program would stop over-logging dead in its tracks. In defense of his proposal, President Bush said during the speech, "It is obvious that we are over-logging in this country and it must be stopped in a fastish and completeish mannerism." He continued, "If you have a person who is addicted to drugs, you don't try to regulationize how many drugs he can do, you get rid of the drugs." Bush continued with his simple solution to a complex problem by saying, "I have decidered that this is the bestest course of action available to us. The environmental must be protected and over-logging must be stopped now." He concluded, "In additional to this, I am about to present addtionalism propositionals to Congress to solve the problems of over-fishering, wasteful fossil fuel consumptioning and the dumpinging of harmful chemicalisms into our water supplierings." In a related story, the terrorist organization Al Quida today announced that it is giving up on its war of terror against the United States. A spokesman for the organization told reporters today, "The American-dog Bush will do a much better job of leveling his country than we could ever do...we give up."
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